Our counselors provide therapy for children and teens in Raleigh, NC

My first approach with a teen for counseling is to listen to and gauge where the teen is at and to meet them there, getting to know them to build a solid relationship. I want a teen to feel heard first and to feel that it is a safe place to be themselves. I find the benefit of establishing a really solid relationship with the teen first is that it invites them to be more open to discussing the hard stuff later on. It also demonstrates a respect for their reasons for being there. I want the teen to be shown the benefit of counseling and have a little bit of the power to shape the direction of their sessions to work on things that they want to work on.

I often teach teens about how to control their emotions and reactions through their being able to recognize when they are upset before they react, then control their breathing for at least 3 minutes to slow themselves down to better choose their responses. I might also work on values clarification with an adolescent so they can determine what is important to them and see how those values can shape their choices.

I gauge a teen's progress by their openness in counseling and their report (or even a report from a parent or school) that they are making more positive choices for themselves and are able to interact with others in a more respectful and productive way for themselves and others. It might depend on what brought the teen to counseling. Are they changing the things that they wanted to change when they entered counseling? If they are able to say they are feeling more at peace with the challenges that brought them in, there is progress.

Clients can participate in local activities, school activities, and volunteering to supplement their time in teen counseling and give them arenas to work out what they might be learning in counseling. They can have intentional conversations and positive interactions with others in their community and family to supplement their efforts in counseling. I always encourage journaling, as well as keeping track of their growth and things they are learning and thinking about.

I might be different than other therapists when it comes to approach, but I suggest that a teen prepare a list of things they might really want someone to know about them and things they like to do from their perspective. A teen can also consider what they might really want to share about the challenges they might be facing or difficulties they are having and have that written down so that they can present things in session their way and won't forget or be distracted by however I might start a session. I would want to be aware of all of that as I help to shape an intake session or even a follow-up session.