There may come a time when someone with a mental illness — like depression, anxiety, or PTSD — needs your help. While mental health conditions require proper treatment from a mental health professional like a counselor or psychiatrist, you can provide help in the form of comfort, reassurance, and support.
If a friend or family member says something like, “I’m feeling really depressed and alone”, or, “My anxiety is through the roof and it’s making life really hard”, it can be difficult to know how to respond. First, check in with yourself to see if you have the capacity and ability to offer support. It’s okay if the answer is no. Maybe you’ve already been here and felt uncertain about how to respond. This isn’t an easy situation to be in, and you may need additional support yourself if a loved one is struggling with a mental illness. But if you’d like to offer the support that a loved one can provide, we’re here to help.
8 Things to Say to Someone Struggling with Mental Health
If a loved one is struggling with their mental health, offering the right words can provide much-needed comfort and support. Here are some phrases that can be particularly helpful for people dealing with a mental illness.
1) “I’m here for you.”
If you’re wondering what to say to someone who is depressed, simply express these four words. Mental illnesses have a way of making people feel hopeless and misunderstood. Even if you don’t understand exactly what the other person is going through, letting them know you’re there for them and that you can be that listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or even just the friend they know and love, can make a world of difference. It can help them so much just to know they have a strong support system rallying behind them.
2) “You are not alone.”
It is especially common for people struggling with their mental health to experience a sense of loneliness. Saying “You are not alone,” can feel incredibly relieving to hear. It’s important to remind your friend that you’ll be there every step of the way. It can also be helpful to take this opportunity to share your own struggles — if you’ve struggled mentally and you feel comfortable opening up to them about it, this conversation can help your friend understand that other people are fighting similar battles. The goal here isn’t to make them feel bad or guilty for their struggle but to feel comforted by the knowledge that others have been where they are.
3) “You are worthy and deserving.”
Mental health conditions are often stigmatized so those suffering may feel unworthy or abnormal. This, however, is just not the case. Remind your friend that their mental illness does not define them, nor does it make them any less of a person. Also, share just how prevalent mental health issues are. Your loved one deserves success and happiness, just like the rest of the world. And hearing that from an honest, trustworthy friend can make all the difference.
4) “You don’t have to apologize.”
Every mental illness comes with unique symptoms and side effects. Depression, for example, can make someone feel hopeless, irritable, and tired, while bipolar disorder may cause one to experience extreme mood changes. Those with these disorders or any given disorder often feel guilty for acting this way and, therefore, inclined to apologize over and over again for their behaviors or emotions. But telling them they don’t have to apologize shows them that you accept them and their mental illness, and you understand that it is outside of their control.
5) “There is treatment available to you.”
While you may be an extremely trustworthy and supportive friend, there are others more qualified to listen and guide them through this difficult process. Ask your friend if they are open to exploring resources, like a support group or a counselor who can provide more meaningful help and insight. Let your friend know that you will help them explore their options if they want you to. You might feel like this is overstepping your boundaries, but it is usually appropriate and helpful to talk through these treatment options with your friend. Now, remember: It’s important to approach this kind of conversation with kindness and patience. And you should always use discernment and tact to determine whether or not what you’re about to say is appropriate.
6) “Let me know what you need.”
We don’t always know exactly what others want or need in terms of support. Instead of mind-reading, just ask. They may not know what they want or need, and that’s okay too. Support might look like general companionship, watching a movie together, or checking in regularly via text.
7) “It’s okay to take things one day at a time.”
When someone is struggling with their mental health, the future can feel overwhelming. Reassuring them that it’s okay to focus on getting through one day at a time can help take the pressure off. Remind them that they don’t need to have everything figured out. Maybe all they need to figure out is this week, this day, or even this hour or minute. Encourage them to take small, manageable steps towards recovery, rather than feeling daunted by the bigger picture.
8) “Your feelings are valid.”
Mental health struggles can often make people question if their feelings are valid, which can consequently lead to self-doubt or guilt. By affirming their feelings are valid, you help to normalize their experience and reinforce that it’s okay to feel the way they do. This can be a powerful way to combat the internalized stigma or self-criticism they may be facing, allowing them to be more open about their emotions.
The Bottom Line
Knowing what to say to someone struggling with mental health—whether they are facing depression, anxiety, or even experiencing a mental health crisis— can make a huge difference. By focusing on empathy, listening without judgment, and gently guiding them toward a mental health professional, you can make a meaningful difference in their journey toward healing.
And remember, if you or someone you know is in danger of harming themselves or needs immediate emotional support, reach out to the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling 988.