Attachment disorder in adults: Signs and symptoms, and how to heal

What Is an Attachment Disorder?

An attachment disorder is a psychiatric condition that can cause a person to close themselves off from forming deep bonds with people around them or attach to people too strongly and quickly. These disorders can severely affect one’s mood and behavior, causing significant impairment in daily function and serious relationship problems. A person with an attachment disorder will often need help from a mental health professional to change their patterns.

What Can Cause Attachment Disorders in Adults? 

Attachment disorders can develop in young children due to neglect, abuse, or other inadequate care by the parent or guardian. Childhood is an important part of a person’s development, affecting everything from the way they learn to how they form attachments with others. Unstable home environments with frequent violence or other instabilities that cause a child to feel unsafe are also risk factors for developing an attachment disorder. If nothing is done to diagnose or treat the resulting disorder, children can grow up to face continual attachment issues in the future. When childhood attachment issues go untreated, they may develop into adult attachment disorders. Childhood issues stemming from an undiagnosed attachment can cause an adult to continue having relational problems and to develop behavioral or emotional issues, an insecure attachment style, or abandonment issues.

2 Types of Attachment Disorders

There are 2 types of attachment disorders recognized by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5): reactive attachment disorder (RAD) and disinhibited social engagement disorder. Both of these are classified as trauma and stressor-related disorders by the DSM-5. However, these diagnoses are primarily applied to young children. As such, there is no formal attachment disorder diagnosis for adults.

1. Reactive attachment disorder involves someone avoiding or shying away from forming significant interpersonal relationships. Signs of reactive attachment disorder in adults can include depressive symptoms, withdrawn behaviors, and behavioral patterns such as avoiding eye contact, reacting negatively to being touched, comforted, or reassured, and displaying behavior like mood swings. This behavior is often the result of extremely insufficient care on the part of the parent/guardian.
2. Disinhibited social engagement disorder can be thought of as the opposite of RAD. People who have this disorder may struggle with limited social inhibition, making them overly chatty and outgoing with strangers and causing them to act impulsively. They may even exhibit a lack of restraint when encountering adult strangers, approaching and interacting with them and showing little to no hesitation when asked to go somewhere with them. Sometimes that behavior can become socially disinhibited to the point where they can act inappropriately in social situations, crossing boundaries and ignoring common social norms. They can also tend to form intense, even codependent, relationships with people. This makes it difficult for them to maintain deep, healthy attachments with others. Disinhibited social engagement disorder is very rare, and only occurs when a child has been severely neglected, such as in instances with foster care or being raised in an institution.

What Are the 4 Attachment Styles of Adults?

Some might get attachment disorders confused with attachment styles, but they are not quite the same. Attachment styles apply to everyone, as everyone has a way of connecting with and interacting with others that reflects a certain style of attachment. According to attachment theory, each attachment style is connected to how someone was treated by their primary caregiver as a child. There are four confirmed attachment styles: 

• Secure attachment: People with secure attachment are comfortable in relationships and can be vulnerable while setting and respecting healthy boundaries. These qualities allow them to seek help when they need it and take responsibility for their actions and emotions. Secure attachment is a healthy and balanced attachment style.
• Disorganized attachment: Also known as disoriented or fearful-avoidant attachment, this type of attachment style is characterized by explosive outbursts and emotional instability. People with this attachment style struggle to regulate their emotions and trust others, making them feel uneasy in close relationships despite longing for meaningful connection. 
• Avoidant attachment: Adults with this attachment style avoid vulnerability and intimacy, which leads them away from forming close attachments. They crave independence and do not want to feel controlled, which can cause them to create emotional distance from those around them. 
• Ambivalent attachment: Also known as anxious attachment, this attachment style causes someone to crave attention and love from those close to them. They may frequently question if people actually care about them, and find it difficult to trust and feel secure in their relationships. If they perceive a threat to the relationship, real or otherwise, they may react by using emotional manipulation to convince their partner to stay.

Though these are different from attachment disorders, insecure attachment styles can result from untreated attachment disorders from childhood, as well as different kinds of neglect or abuse throughout childhood. Though they can affect one’s life, attachment styles largely do not impair daily functioning. Attachment disorders occur when one’s moods or behaviors are heavily influenced by one’s attachments and significantly affect daily life.

What Are Signs of Attachment Disorder in Adults?

Though there are no official diagnostic criteria for attachment disorder in adults, there are a few attachment disorder symptoms to look out for. Signs you have attachment issues include: 

• Withdrawal and significant avoidance of social interactions
• Limited positive or elevated affect (i.e. lack of positivity, low mood)
• Mood swings
• Irritability
• Difficulty maintaining interpersonal boundaries
• Inappropriate physical contact with peers
• Impulsivity
• Difficulty trusting others
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Dissociation
• Low self-esteem

These attachment disorder symptoms in adults are good criteria to check against if you think you may be living with an attachment disorder. It’s best to reach out to a mental health professional for a diagnosis, as many of these symptoms are shared by other mental health conditions. A mental health expert will be equipped to accurately diagnose you and give you tools to help minimize your symptoms.

Healing Attachment Disorder in Adults: What Are Helpful Treatments for Attachment Disorders?

Psychotherapy, also known as talk therapy, is one of the best ways to help people with attachment issues. 

For children with attachment disorders, treatment with a mental health professional is also the most effective route. This type of therapy may involve their primary caregiver to help balance and strengthen the relationship between them and their child.

Adults with attachment issues will benefit from meeting with a mental health professional, specifically attachment therapy or couples therapy. A psychotherapist will be able to lead you through the process of facing your inner child and repairing lingering damage from your childhood that may be affecting your ability to have healthy relationships. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can also help you identify, challenge, and replace automatic behaviors and thought patterns that are maladaptive or harmful. CBT deals primarily with developing coping skills, through which you can learn to change your thinking, problematic emotions, and behavior.

If you believe that you may have had an attachment disorder as a child and currently struggle with attachment issues, consider reaching out to a mental health professional to help you heal from your past hurts and find a way to have healthier, more secure relationships in the future.

The Bottom Line

Symptoms of adult attachment disorder, such as difficulty trusting others and maintaining boundaries, often stem from unresolved childhood issues. But developing a better understanding of what attachment disorder in adults is and the signs to look out for, can help you tackle the issue head on. If you believe you are an adult with an attachment disorder, consider seeking help from a mental health professional and trying attachment therapy or cognitive behavioral therapy. With time and effort, you can hopefully begin to experience more trusting and secure relationships.