What is monkey branching, and why do people do it?

“Monkey branching” describes a dating behavior where someone continues to pursue other potential partners while already in a relationship, often without the knowledge or consent of their current partner. 

The term comes from the image of a monkey swinging from one branch to another, never fully letting go of the first branch before grabbing onto the next one.

Is Monkey Branching Cheating?

Whether or not monkey branching is considered cheating would depend on the specific terms and boundaries of the relationship in question. 

If the partners have agreed to be exclusive and one partner is pursuing other options without the other’s knowledge or consent, then that could be considered a breach of trust and potentially cheating. 

It’s important for partners in a relationship to communicate their expectations and boundaries clearly and openly, and to respect each other’s feelings and needs. If you’re feeling unsure about your partner’s behavior or intentions, it may be worth having a conversation to clarify your expectations and address any concerns you may have.

Can Monkey Branching Be Considered Rebounding?

While there may be some similarities between monkey branching and rebounding, they are not the same thing. Monkey branching involves a person seeking out a new partner while still in a relationship, whereas rebounding involves a person entering a new relationship after the end of a previous relationship. 

It is worth noting that both behaviors can be harmful and may indicate deeper emotional issues that need to be addressed. If you are engaging in either of these behaviors, it may be helpful to seek the guidance of a therapist or counselor.

What Is Monkey Branching BPD?

“Monkey branching BPD” refers to a pattern of behavior in which a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) ends one relationship while actively seeking out and pursuing a new one before the previous one has fully ended. 

This behavior can be characterized by a lack of emotional stability and a fear of abandonment, which may drive the individual to seek out new relationships as a way to feel secure and avoid being alone. 

In the context of BPD, monkey branching can lead to a cycle of unstable relationships, as the individual may struggle to maintain a lasting and healthy connection with any one partner. It is important to note, however, that not all individuals with BPD engage in this behavior, and it is not a defining characteristic of the disorder. 

Why Do People Monkey Branch?

People cheat for a variety of reasons. When it comes monkey branching it may be due to:

• Fear of being alone: Some people fear being single or alone, related to worrying thoughts and feelings of abandonment – so, they start a new relationship before ending their current one to avoid being alone.
• Lack of commitment: If someone is not fully committed to their current relationship, they may look for someone else to fulfill their needs.
• Emotional or physical dissatisfaction: If someone is unhappy with their current partner emotionally or physically, they may start to look for someone else who can fulfill their needs.
• Lack of communication: If there is a lack of communication or understanding in a relationship, one person may feel neglected and seek attention elsewhere.
• Insecurity: Some people may have low self-esteem and seek validation and attention from multiple partners to boost their confidence.

“Monkey branching is considered a toxic behavior because it has a negative impact on a person’s emotional, mental, and/or psychological well-being,” adds Tori Lyn Mills, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor at Thriveworks in Columbia, MD. “It robs you of making an informed decision as to whether you are okay with your partner pursuing other relationships.”

It is important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner and end a relationship before pursuing someone else.

Does Monkey Branching Work? 

As mentioned previously, while some individuals may find short-term success in monkey branching by successfully maintaining multiple relationships at once, the long-term consequences can be significant. This behavior can lead to a lack of trust in future relationships, and may even result in legal or financial consequences if the individual is caught engaging in infidelity. 

It is important to consider the ethical implications of monkey branching and to communicate openly and honestly with partners about one’s intentions and desires. Building healthy, mutually respectful relationships requires trust, honesty, and communication, and these values are not typically compatible with the practice of monkey branching. 

Will an Overlapper Feel Regret?

It is possible that someone who engages in monkey branching behavior and overlaps relationships may feel regret. However, this will depend on the individual and their personal experiences and feelings. 

Some people with borderline personality disorder may feel intense emotions, including guilt and remorse, after engaging in behaviors that have hurt others or caused disruptions in their own lives. They may also feel a sense of shame or self-blame for their actions. Other individuals with BPD may struggle to acknowledge or take responsibility for their actions and may not feel regret or remorse for their behavior. Additionally, some people may rationalize or justify their actions as a means of coping with feelings of guilt or regret.

Overall, whether or not someone who engages in monkey branching and overlapping relationships feels regret will depend on a variety of individual factors, including their emotional state, personal beliefs and values, and past experiences. It is important to note that therapy and other forms of treatment can help individuals develop healthier coping mechanisms and improve their relationships.

Signs Your Partner Monkey Branches

Here are some signs that your partner is monkey branching:

• Lack of communication: If your partner is not communicating with you as much as they used to, it could be a sign that they are seeking emotional support from someone else.
• Secretive behavior: If your partner is suddenly being secretive about their phone, computer, or other personal belongings, it could be a sign that they are hiding something from you.
• Unexplained absences: If your partner is frequently unavailable and doesn’t provide a reasonable explanation for their whereabouts, it could be a sign that they are spending more time with someone else.
• Loss of interest: If your partner seems less interested in spending time with you or participating in activities you both used to enjoy, it could be a sign that they have lost their emotional connection to you.
• Flirtatious behavior: If your partner is flirting with other people in your presence or through social media, it could be a sign that they are seeking attention and validation from others.

It is important to keep in mind that these red flags don’t necessarily mean that your partner is monkey branching. However, if you notice any of these behaviors and think your partner may be a monkey brancher, it’s important to communicate with your partner and express your concerns. 

If you verify that your partner has been monkey branching, “understand that any reason given isn’t necessarily worth the reality of your mental health being negatively impacted or the lack of emotional safety and security in the relationship,” says Mills. 

If, on the other hand, you determine that they are not engaging in any problematic dating behaviors, you might be overthinking out of concern for the health of your relationship. Explore the causes of those negative thoughts and consider working with a couples therapist to restore faith and trust in your relationship.

Do Monkey Branching Relationships Last?

While some monkey branching relationships may last for a time, they are often built on a shaky foundation and can be fraught with tension, jealousy, and insecurity. Eventually, the dishonesty and lack of commitment involved in monkey branching may lead to the relationship breaking down or ending altogether. 

In contrast, healthy and successful relationships are typically based on mutual trust, respect, and communication. Partners who are committed to each other and share a strong emotional bond are more likely to build a lasting and fulfilling relationship. By being honest and transparent with each other about their needs, feelings, and expectations, partners can build a healthy relationship that lasts.